Cynic
by Silverdogz
Summary: A poor schmuck gets warped into the TS universe, one problem, when he isn't doing something he's well cynical. Rated T for paranoia.


I own nothing. Lawyers please refer to Section 107 of the US Copyright law. Thank you.

I sat up slowly rubbing my head after whacking it on the steering wheel of my BMW X5M. Don't think that I'm some spoiled rich kid though, I had to earn this car through work and good grades. I may have made a few modifications for example the third generation A.I and a nano-molecular shell to replace the exterior and a few defenses. Anyway I was waking up and looked out the windshield to see three girls wearing red, golden and green suits and some black suited guys. All were looking pretty upset well than they were encased in nets from Charles, the A.I.

"What happened Charles?" I asked knowing full well it was his fault.

"They attempted to gain access to the interior sir." Said Charles.

"With what? Don't they know that nano-molecular panels are pretty much indestructible?" I said.

"Apparently their uniforms are more than function. The females attempted to use a sort of titanium drill on the lock, came out of their heel, sir." Said Charles.

"Now that the current situation is dealt with, HOW THE HELL ARE WE IN A WAREHOUSE!" I yelled. "Last I checked we were on I-5!"

"Some sort of vortex opened in front of us, sir." Said Charles.

"Portals it's always portals." I muttered as I unlocked the door and opened it. Stepping out onto the floor.

About twenty-five minutes earlier…

Sam, Alex and Clover walked down the hall way of Beverly High while Clover fumed about a recent incident with Mandy in Science. The evidence of which was apparent in Clover's shirt. A rather large purple stain was apparent.

"Can you believe her?" Clover yelled. Her face slowly turning a red.

"Calm down! Clover!" said Alex trying to stop her friend from exploding her own head. Soon enough they got to Clover's locker as she began to open it the door flew open and sucked all three down into the bowels of the school and beyond. Soon they landed on the familiar pink cushion in Jerry's office.

"Afternoon, girls." He said with a small smile.

"Why now Jerry!" complained Sam as she stood up.

"Because, Girls we have a small rip in the fabric of the universe occurring as we speak." Said Jerry "I will be accompanying you on this one as well as some of the WOOHP agents."

"Why?" asked Clover.

"Because we could need some ambassadors." Said Jerry.

"Anyway what gadgets do we get?" asked Alex.

"Only these, Titanium drill boots and the Heat Sensor 6000 Infrared motion detector sunglasses with the optional thermal imaging lenses." Said Jerry as he tossed the gadgets to the girls and continued on his way while the girls tensed up expecting to be WOOHPed out of the building.

"Aren't you coming girls?" Jerry asked poking his head in his office. They smiled and followed glad to not be WOOHPed out. In a few minutes they were in black SUV's on their way to the rift in Space-Time that was currently forming. In only a few moments the cars stopped outside an old warehouse that was falling into disrepair. It had only timbers for a roof and a fair few holes in the exterior. Inside though WOOHP had already set up some equipment that was monitoring the gyrating blue and black portal that was spinning in mid-air.

"Ugh, this is like, so boring. When will something happen." Said Clover. As if on cue the portal began to expand to be about as big as a semi-truck.

"You had to say that didn't you Clover." Said Sam looking at the portal. Soon though an engine could be heard coming from it.

"What is that?" asked Alex. Soon a large blue SUV jumped out of the portal and landed near the girls. On the back it said X5M.

"BMW? Never heard of it." Said Alex.

"That doesn't explain why it has Washington license plates though." Said Sam as she examined it. She then took out her glasses and began to look at it. When she switched to the thermal imaging she saw that the driver was knocked out.

"There's someone in there." Said Sam.

"I'll get 'im out!" exclaimed Clover. As tried to use her drill to take off the door. The door ended up not having a single scratch in the paint while the drill was almost flat. The blue circles that surrounded the headlights turned red as a slightly British voice was heard.

"Hostile action detected… Non-lethal restraints activated." Said the voice as the fog lights lowered and launchers appeared, that launched nets at the spies as well as at Jerry and his team. Inside the car the driver began to wake up. He seemed to talk to the car than yell and then sigh. A loud click was heard and the door swung open and the engine fell silent. The driver stepped out. He was tall with dark brown hair that bordered on black and had piercing blue eyes framed by rimless stainless steel glasses. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and jeans as well as a pair of black sneakers.

"I'm guessing you guys in the black suit are some sort of intelligence agency and the girls in color are some sort of Spec-Ops." He said glaring at Jerry.

"Let us out and then we'll talk." Sam said.

"Fine." He said. "Charles please release them."

"At once, sir." Charles said. The nets pulsed a light blue and disappeared into a glowing strand that disappeared into the car. The spies and Jerry's team stood up. Jerry began to walk forwards but the driver held up a hand.

"Can I ask a question?" asked the driver.

"If you tell me your name, then by all means." Said Jerry.

"My name is Jack Martin. Now my questions are WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE THE HELL AM I?" Jack yelled.

"Sir, you are in Beverley Hills." Said Charles.

"Shut up, Charles." Said Jack.

"Yes, Sir" said Charles.

"I am Jerry, this is Samantha, Alexandra and Clover, and we are from WOOHP, the World Organization of Human Protection." Said Jerry.

"Never heard of it." Said Jack. The girls were a little shocked that he hadn't heard of it but Jerry wasn't surprised.

"Well come with us to WOOHP and I can help explain." Said Jerry.

"I don't have anything else to do today." He said turning and walking back to his car.

"Sam will accompany you, to make sure you don't do anything stupid." Said Jerry. Clover looked extremely jealous of Sam who walked over to the passenger side of the car. She didn't like it but orders were orders. She got in to the black leather seat. Inside the car had black leather with dark bamboo wood. It had a definite luxury influence. Jack got in the other side and started the engine.

"Sam, huh?" he said not looking at her as he began to drive out of the warehouse.

"It's a long story." Said Sam.

"Where are we going?" asked Jack. "Just say the address and Charles will do the rest."

"Oh, um its 102 West 1st Street Los Angeles" said Sam surprised that the car could find its way with just her voice.

"Thank you, Miss." Said Charles.

"I've been meaning to ask, who is Charles?" said Sam.

"He is my personal third generation A.I." said Jack. "Charles why don't you show yourself to Sam here."

"Certainly, Sir." Said Charles as a foot high projection came online showing a man in a black suit who looked an awful lot like the first James Bond, Sean Connery. He turned to her and smiled warmly. He then turned to Jack.

"I know what you're thinking and isn't a good idea." He said disappointment on his digital face.

"So?" said Jack thumbing a button on the wheel that looked like an M in a circle when he did so a button labeled EDC lit up with two lights, as did power and a little yellow light appeared in the instrument cluster: MDM. Jack looked over to the car Jerry was driving and revved his engine a little. Jerry responded with a slightly louder roar. Jack grinned and slid the gearstick to the left. On the instrument cluster it changed to say Sport Drive. In Jerry's car he looked over at the BMW and smiled engaging the special WHOOP engine management software.

"Jer, What're you doing?" asked Clover.

"Simply a small male competition Clover." Said Jerry. The traffic light clicked to green and both SUV's leapt of the line and began to race back to WOOHP. Inside the BMW Sam was pressed back against the seat and watched as the speedometer arced to one-hundred miles per hour and kept going all the way up to one hundred and twenty and stayed there glued. Jack's eyes were constantly watching the road around him as he dodged car and trucks. The maneuvering hardly making the car roll. It was simple enough to keep ahead of the WOOHP SUV for him anyway. All too soon they arrived at WOOHP. Once inside Jack and Jerry went to his office to discuss what to do. Apparently CERN was still working on its collider so he would have to wait until that was completed before attempting to go home. Another thing was that he was slightly denser than the rest of the world. Not enough so that at the slightest touch he could bend metal but enough so that if he worked against the metal hard enough he could bend it.

"I have a proposal for you Jack." Said Jerry.

"Really? What is it?' said Jack surprised.

"I would like you to join WOOHP under the same division as the girls." Said Jerry.

"As long as I don't have to wear heels and the uniform. I'll do it." Said Jack with slight mirth in his voice. "What do I have to do?"

"Simple, really, I need you to pass training." Said Jerry.

"Ok." Said Jack.

"Good, we'll start now." Said Jerry as he pressed a button and… the door swung open and a WOOHP agent escorted Jack to the training room. Inside the numerous trainers tried to train him but he was a little too quick at learning and picked it up almost immediately and broke most of the gym equipment. After his "training" he went to see Jerry.

"One thing has been nagging at me. Why do you want me to work with your spies? They can obviously handle themselves if these training vids are correct." Said Jack leaning against a wall.

"Well for all their training they seem to have the annoying habit of getting themselves caught." Said Jerry.

"That's as good a reason as any, I guess." Said Jack.

"Well in the mean time I have arranged for you to go to Beverley Hill High School. You can have this house with attached garage as well." Said Jerry. "And before I forget, here is your com-wallet. It has a direct line to my office as well as attached cell phone capabilities." Said Jerry handing over the wallet. In seconds Jack had it lying apart on the desk and had his black Nokia Lumia 920 open as well and was transferring SIM cards and the tools from the wallet.

"Or… you could do that." Said Jerry with a slight sweat drop.

"Sorry never liked the idea of talking to my wallet." Said Jack as he stood up.

"If that will be all I better get going." Said Jack. As he got up and walked out to his car. Inside Charles was waiting for him.

"Sir, I was able to incorporate the schematics for KURT into my systems, we should have the ability to use the nanobots to allow travel on under water. I also have a California registration and our hous is programmed in." said Charles.

"Good work Charles. Let's go, auto pilot if you please. I need to think." Said Jack as he rubbed his temples.

"Of course, sir." Said Charles. The engine came to life and the car rolled out of the lot and began to travel towards the house.


End file.
